Freak Out Moments











{February 4, 2014}   Cosplaying Perspectives

This is a about perspective. It’s a new year and last year I learnt a hell of a lot, mostly about me and my own shortcomings, as a cosplayer but that’s a good thing, I think its part of life lessons as well as exploring my hobby more in-depth.

Positives from last year – I lost over 100 pounds in weight. FYI that’s like a whole person in some cases! Met awesome friends, saw fantastic costumes and learnt some amazing new crafting ideas.

Negatives – fell into some of the cosplay/popularity traps of getting frustrated by lack of pictures. Had a few times where I was sure I was going to give up and just go back to hiding in my flat. Panic attacks and anxiety issues.

Cosplayer – Your costume and you are fabulous, you don’t need to be told this, you already know it. Don’t belittle what you do, I am terribly good at convincing myself I am terrible. This is a process of mental instability and other outside factors, I want to tell you now I am fully aware of how self-destructive this can be.

Okay I love my costumes, getting a picture and part of the fun is someone stopping you to compliment you but getting angry or upset people don’t only harms you. The guy that shoved me aside for a thinner model, the one that told me I was too fat for a picture when I never asked him for one in the first place and the guy that promises to take a picture then doesn’t? They are upsetting but I can bet you they have already forgotten you, don’t waste time dwelling on them, it’s giving the, too much credit.

Feeling fat, crap or ugly? Nonsense. Someone somewhere loves you for who you are, and whilst you may not see it in that moment take time to reflect on it. I have been guilty of letting a strangers comments destroy me and my confidence and yet in that same day someone else, in fact probably more than one, has mentioned that I look good or my costume is cool. It’s hard not to dwell on a bad comment but honestly look back at the good ones. 

This is not my chosen career, therefore I ask myself regularly am I keeping this in perspective? Selling prints, etc is all well and good if you are trying to make a model career or costume career out of it but if not then don’t be offended by it not being something that falls into your lap. It is not my career it is my hobby, if it was I would be at the gym for hours and over a sewing machine, or hiring a workshop. As I do not do this full time I don’t expect a full time span of attention for it. That said I love the idea that my hobby can be a thing I share and love with so may other people, career cosplayer or not.

So in summary, this year I just aim to have even more fun, keep being creative and let the positivity reap it’s own rewards. 

Wish me luck!

Image

And here’s a terrible mug shut of me with my super favourite prop at the moment. My Golden Retro Lancer from Gears of War. The lights awful but I hope that if you followed my blog you can see where some of the weight has fallen away 🙂

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