Freak Out Moments











{April 30, 2014}   Buying vs Making your cosplay

Oh no it’s me again! Well you read it, I write it 😉 so I figured I would go with the whole do I buy it or do I make it thing? If you BUY your costume it’s perfectly fine in my view, I think if you want to commission someone or you ask someone with more talent than you think you have, why not? There is no need to be elitist about it and assume that someone who brought it is somehow sub-par to you. Here’s a few things to consider before running your mouth off about it:

1. Is it personally ruining your life if 40 people brought an Attack on Titan costume and got a group, took some pictures and had a laugh? I mean genuinely, has it cause you physical pain to see that shelf picked Kingdom Hearts coat? I am going to bet NO… NO it really isn’t.

2. Have you got a clue about that person? Their situation or their means of buying/creating?

3. We don’t all have that kind of time. Yes you can probably squeeze in the odd hour here and there for an adjustment, make a little bow for your hair, perhaps spray a gun black from plastic blue. But some of these costumes take a practically full time job to make. I am 34, I work, I have a household to manage, I have a limited time scale in which to do it and I do it with the tools and time I have. There are some people working 40+ hours, going home to a family to care for and feed not to mention other real life scenarios. That £20 costume is what makes them happy, why are you so down on it?

4. Talent – I personally feel I have zero talent in some thing, I have a go, I sometimes succeed and other times I completely balls it up. I mean seriously I’ve thrown metres of fabric away or I’ve ditched half-cut swords as I realise I simply don’t have the tools, space or even the real know-how. I’ve watched vids, tried reading tutorials and sometimes it just won’t happen. So then I turn to the trusty commissioners I know.

5. Cost versus  outcome. Honestly in some cases what a commissioner can make me is so much more worthy of the money. It would cost me double in materials, time and blatant lack of talent to produce something HALF the quality. So I’d rather give my money to a local commissioner, someone who can make it. Who probably has a jigsaw in his garage (I’d like a garage or even a garden, this flat’s a little small hehe). If I see it as value I will buy it.

Now what you get when you can make it, or try is an invaluable sense of self-accomplishment. I won’t deny even the ones I have made that aren’t amazing still make me feel good, I achieved something, yet it can still be utterly disheartening when you do all that and no one even looks at it. I go back to many comments about this, unless you’re looking for a career in it I think you should treat it as a compliment if a picture is taken, not a right but yeah, when someone in a Pikachu onesie is stopped over your halo armour, you’re home made Jedi etc you can feel a bit annoyed. I get it, but that’s no reason to be angry or have a go at someone over their costume, if you are doing it just for recognition I don’t think that’s the essence of why I love cosplay and I don’t think we’d agree on my points above ever. I respect that, if you don’t respect me that’s your loss too really isn’t it?

I have home made, to store brought. I have crap costumes but I also feel I have good ones. I don’t think it matters, you’re celebrating your fandom and you’re doing it with a smile (if you are doing it right). So I’d say before you get so aggravated over someone else having a good time, think about you’re attitude towards them. They probably love what you did, they probably love you made that shield/dress etc… but if you are going to be a tool about it, you’ve already lost “the game.”

 

Terrible hand made Sanzo from Saiyuki – used for? Well actually a dressing gown. That’s how good I think it is bleh!

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{April 17, 2014}   Mass Media and Cosplay

WOW! I am so proud to say that I know people that have been on the TV or in Magazines etc with their talents. It’s amazing to see those wonderful talents getting a spot light but I also know it comes with reservations.

I’d like to explain why I don’t think it’s a media issue as such, but more about how you take it as a person when you see it. So I am going to pick the Fur And Loathing episode of CSI, Season 4 saw the “murder of a furry” with it came a lot of jokes about the weird things people do, they covered as much of the culture in the 40 ish minutes they had and rightly, or wrongly, most likely missed what those in the community saw as the “real deal”.

If I am honest I had never even heard of the community before that show aired, and it didn’t make me shy away going OMG bunch of Freaks! What it actually had me do was look at the culture, I thought wow, well it’s like any fetish isn’t it? Good and bad sides for all. You get a good and a bad egg in anything you do, anywhere you go. It’s not unusual either for the media to try and cover something and abysmally muck it up but at least I thought about looking more into that culture and now I have furry friends, and I have a better understanding by asking them about it.

To me that is the same for Cosplay, gaming or anything that other people don’t get. If someone says “you’re into all that weird stuff” ask them what is weird about it? Didn’t they go to their friends stag do in a dress with a comedy wig? Haven’t they played cops/robbers or cowboys./indians as a kid and got delight out of that few pounds costume? It’s the same thing only at the cosplayer level you get everything from the off the shelf fun, the few quid ones you made, and the massively pricey ones. Either way that person is having a good time right?

Well here’s where I think it’s dangerous and it’s not about you, me or the media. It’s when you listen to that media and take it’s ONE slant as gospel. You take that comment one guy makes from a ten second clip saying “oh I think all cosplayers are a bit mental” but I bet you they could easily have shaved off that bit after where the guy could be laughing saying “and i am utterly mental, this sounds brilliant. Sign me up”… it’s not necessarily the view they gave it’s how the media cut and portray it when they want to take their slant one way or another.

This is the bit that I also find dangerous, when I was 15/18 I was a singer and I travelled around, I sang in pubs, clubs and all over. I loved the performing aspect I hated the industry with a passion that I cannot explain in words. Why?

Let me summarise where many of my own problems about my appearance. confidence and troubles stopped me from going on with that career…

I was physically assaulted at school for being short, tall, thin, fat, spotty, glasses, no glasses, having horses, not having the same blazer, using a biro not the same pen as was in fashion. Name your theme, they did it, they hurt and I was not backed up by the school despite my mother’s sincerest attempts. In the end we moved but the school had been less than useful.

When applying for any part/spot in a performance: too fat, too thin, eyes wrong colour, height, need to shave her hips on one side, her knee isn’t quite the right shape for a ballet career. What her skill? Oh yeah brush that side, boobs? No boobs? Either way they have faults they want to project on to you yet seldom praise your talent.

What does all of this do? I went from barely eating and dancing most hours of a day to crying, depression and binge eating. You can tell me I should smarten up, and that these people shouldn’t affect you but the second you become passionate you open yourselves up to both sides. Positive and negative.

I am 34 as I write this, it’s taken all those years to get back to a place where it is okay to have my picture taken, to dance without a care, to sing in the shower and have a laugh. And I can’t say that the media or anyone helped that, it was the network of support, friends and being able to hear that others had come out the other side.

So to all those that worry about these things, yes you will worry, but don’t fall into the trap of letting it destroy that smile, crooked or otherwise that is the essence of beauty isn’t it? Loving yourself and loving those who see you for who you are.

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{October 11, 2013}   The Fat Factor and photography

I am realistic, I am a big girl. I know this, to be honest we are ALL aware of our own bodies and size.  Don’t be fooled into thinking I am unaware of my own shape and size, and why? I was for many years a dancer and singer and very slender. I was toned, I did ballet, jazz and tap, I danced for two to three hours a day and I would ride horses around when I wasn’t in school/college/work.

I didn’t have a full time office job, I wasn’t subject to injuries and at the time I wasn’t even aware of the horrifically cruel things human’s would do to one another just to make themselves feel better. And that’s the crux of this post…

I shied away from my picture being taken for years after I exited the entertainment business. At size 8-10 with fairly decent figure, fit, healthy, brown hair and brown eyed I was told more often than I would care to mention – you are too fat, need to loose a couple pounds. Basically in order to satisfy a man’s ideals instead of being happy that I was healthy they wanted me to starve. Ballet Dancers aren’t allowed to eat, shit or drink like a human they are expected to be some form of bone with a fleshy cling-film overlay.

My impression of the cosplay world for those that want to take it seriously is that it is just as brutal and rude. CRUDE would be a good word. I am not thin, I am not going to slim down for THEM I do it for me!

I have downsized from a UK 24 to an 18 in the last year, I have done it with a healthier eating pattern and by taking walks. I have done this for me not for a media photographer and yet I still see girls who are perfectly healthy and normal being told they are too fat, their breasts are too small.

It actually makes you feel disappointed that in a day and age where we are so willing to fight for the rights of a murder, or rapist that nothing is said about the media portrayal of people.  It’s easier to poke fun at the “fat bitch” than to think, hey she’s really fighting to get up in the morning, to do the right thing, I should ask her how she’s feeling… I should keep my damned abusive mouth shut.

It is true I feel that you can avoid internet bullying, but I also think it’s important to understand people that feel bullied won’t know how to deal with it. Sometimes we aren’t equipped with the mindset to walk away, you sit in front of the PC and see those comments, “fat” “ugly” “worthless” and buried in the myriad of beautiful praises they stand out, they are negative and they are hurtful. Internet trolls aren’t even clever people, they just think they are. Personally they are the ones I feel more sorry for when I sit down to analyse it, after all they are that needy for attention they have to try to destroy other people’s creativity and happiness.

So I guess really what I am saying is, I don’t think it’s important to you as a person if you cosplay and they ignore your costume for the thing girl. I’ve been physically pushed aside by men for a picture of a prettier girl by the way…

It is more important to evaluate your self-worth. I find this hard but here’s my example!

I love what I do, I have a balance of life and work, I love my friends and family equally. I won’t judge you as a man or woman, I will judge you as a person. I am not blind to my follies and faults, I will adapt and try to move forwards. I WILL love you no matter your size and I DO care if you are upset.

And, if anyone ever wants to talk to me outside of my blogs you can find me on facebook.

Take care all,

GearsGirl



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